Dog lessons

It probably doesn't need to be said but here it is:

I. LOVE. DOGS.

They teach me EVERY day.

I wake up in the morning to find they have snuck up on the bed during the night when I am fast asleep.

They make me smile. They show me:

Find the comfort. Even when you aren't the most presentable and are shedding that winter coat, find ways to connect closely to those you love.

They say that you get the dog needed to reflect parts of your soul. To teach you.

Lessons from Lena? (the yellow lab).

She is the calm one. Easy going one. All she really wants is to be at your feet.

Be WITH you.

She will eat ANYTHING that falls from the counter.

She likes a nice walk in the woods. She doesn't REALLY want to retrieve.

She'd rather sit and sniff the air like Ferdinand the Bull.

Take things in slowly.

Gently.

Love with presence. Eat well. Exercise.

These are things to live by.

To learn from.

She is simple. I get her. She gets me. I am like her in so many ways.

She is 11 now. Aging. Slowing down. I know I won't have much time left with her.

It makes me both sad and thankful for her presence.

Sad AND thankful.

True this.

I hold this sadness since Gary died, AND and I am SO thankful for the life we lived together.

Grief is blended.

LIfe with Death.

Death with LIfe.

It has changed my perspective.

Life is short. Time is unpredictable.

The past: LOVE is what lingers.

The present: There is an urgency.

Love now.

AND there is spaciousness/timelessness.

Knowing there will be love enough in the future....

Gratitude. Appreciation.

NOTICE the gifts of the present moment.

Notice them Martha. Let them sink in.

Yes, there is much that is:

Unclear.

Liminal.

It's not either/or with me.

Seems to be BOTH/AND.

Love with presence. Eat well. Exercise.

Keep coming back to that Martha.

Thank you Lena.

Ruby: the black lab is scrappy. (you can barely see her lounging in the midst of the garden, right?)

She LOVES being outside. In the rain. In the snow. In the mud. In the dirt. Exploring excitedly in the woods. Running!!! She is a tiny bit feral I think.

She can take or leave food, people, other dogs.

She seems aloof.

And she is the FIRST one to come find me to comfort any and all edges of upset. She READS me. It feels an honor to be her main person.

I give her space. Choice. Respect. She returns that to me in ways profound.

I am so like her.

There are times I only want to be outside. By myself. In nature. No people. I don't want to be at the party. I'd rather be off in the woods seeing the wildflowers that just came up, the birds whose song I don't know but notice. Be on a bike in chilly weather.

Solitude is LOVELY for me.

AND I so appreciate those Truth Telling times of deep connection when the edges come forward.

Being heard.

Being seen.

Being REAL.

Ruby is messy. I get SO annoyed when her collar is caked with some nasty dead animal that she found and rolled in. She looks at me- sort of tolerant of the cleaning and I swear, she smiles as though saying: WORTH IT!

She reminds me to be a bit wild. Go off and come back. To give space and to take space. Be MESSY!

I have learned to listen to and support her quirky things that are part of her due to being a puppy during covid. There are situations she is timid about. She wasn't exposed to a lot of new environments as a puppy.

It shows.

She teaches me to listen and support the quirky things in myself as I navigate this new life as the Widow. There are a LOT of new situations that are strange. Unexpected. New.

This is NOT a time to think about what OTHERS may think (waste of time anyway).

Feel into WHAT IS Martha.

Be gentle with yourself Martha.

What do you need to find comfort here, right now?

Isn't it ok that it is uncomfortable?

Isn't it ok that it is strange, tender, emotional?

During this time of creating a new life for myself, I find there is a surprising OPENNESS to what is new, strange, lovely, joyful, awe inspiring. Maybe because there is such groundlessness with grief, there is awareness of the tiny details of the magic moments that come forward with random acts of kindness, grandchildren that are laughing whole heartedly over something SO silly, bike rides that fill the soul with beauty, meditations that connect inner life with universal messages of love that transcends time/space continuums.

Maybe that is really the main message of it ALL:

Love continues. Always. In ways known and mysterious.

And so my sweet dogs who are my pals. My companions. They mirror my own lessons.

They are the Angels in life that bring humor, unconditional love, companionship, and bring out things in ourselves that maybe we wouldn't see unless through their kind eyes.

If any of this makes sense. If any of this resonates.

Please reach out.

We are part of some sort of tribe of dog-loving, life giving, love lessons in the midst of change connection that is an honor to be part of.

xoxo

Martha