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I've always had a thing about laundry lines. There is something so universal about them. Human. Clothes hanging out in the sun to dry. From refugee camps in Beirut to back yards of the homes in Dublin, there are always laundry lines reminding us how much we have in common. I love that now during this time of grief, folding laundry is a thing that is grounding. Laughable! And true. Grief is a strange journey. We don't have many road maps in our culture. Many prefer to not look

Such a year it has been. Living in the limbo of day to day with my husband's terminal illness. Living with the Mystery and deep gratitude for a death so much like a birth. My midwife heart sees the continuity now between life and death with new profound awe. Living with the day to day strangeness of grief. Going through the first holidays? Everyone warned me they are tricky, tender, emotional, unnerving. Yup. All of that. Add to that my internet went out. My credit card was c

Tears. Rivers of tears. Flowing unchecked. A momentum all its own. So many different kind of tears. Sobbing tears that rise up deep from the belly. Weeping tears that seep out unexpectedly. Wailing tears with sounds so old. All of them serving. Cleansing. Offering an entry into what IS. Can we ALLOW grief? EMBRACE grief? See the gifts, the unexpected beauty in the humanness that links us ALL? This time AFTER. It is about connection/disconnection. Connection to the WHOLE. Beyo

There is such Mystery. To be present during a death, my husband's death has a ripple effect unexpected. There is peace. Sadness? Of...

Yesterday: a hike. The pace is slower. Gary stops to catch his breath more frequently. The dogs are so HAPPY to be roaming the woods and...

It happened. The dreaded news. Gary's MDS is progressing. Weeks to months to live. Almost immediately: I feel the contraction. Cancel the...