
I have to admit. This idea of reframing our thoughts and seeing an impact? I was skeptical at first.
And then I wondered: how DOES it play out in my life?
The cycle:
The thought/belief ➡️ the feeling ➡️ the story/meaning/narrative ➡️ my actions/behavior ➡️j this reinforces the original thought/belief.
And so the the merry-go-round happens.
Our brains LOVE this. Why? Because there is a protective thing: use less energy. When the thoughts become underground, subconscious, automatic, very little brain power is needed.
Example: a background reel-
I'm not good enough (belief) ➡️ I compare myself to others (story weaving) ➡️ Feel defeated. ➡️ Don't start. Stay in the same lane. (action/behavior). ➡️ Original belief reinforced.
Any change happening here? Nope.
Another thing about our brain: it likes to tidy things up to prove what we believe.(confirmation bias).
The more it sees this perspective/narrative/story line reinforced, the wider/smoother that neural pathway is paved in our brains. That thought/belief is seen as TRUE over and over. It becomes automatic, reinforced. A highway of default reaction. It is EASY to think/feel/behave this way!
How to interrupt this? How to create new patterns, new neuralpathways, new actions/behaviors that become automatic and easy? How to change our habits with alcohol, that relationship that makes us crazy, or the work stress that seem unbearable?
Truth: it takes work. Its doable. It takes effort, repetition. Mostly, it takes curiosity and a dose of kindness for yourself as it unfolds. The beauty of this work: ITS EMPOWERING! The change is OURS to make!
Here's a secret sauce: ACT (thank you Annie Grace for creating this framework!)
🔷 AWARENESS
1. What is the thought or belief?
2. Where do you feel it in your body?
3. What emotions are associated?
4. How do you behave when you have this thought/belief
🔷 CLARITY
1. Is this true? Is there a time when this wasn’t true?
2. Where did it come from? (childhood, family, friends, society)
3. What is the benefit of this thought/belief?
4. What is it trying to do for you?
5. What is the cost of this thought/belief?
6. What if you didn’t have this thought/belief?
🔷 TURNAROUND
1. What is the opposite of the original thought or belief?
2. What is another way of looking at this now?
3. Is there a way of changing the language that makes the opposite true?
(I am open to….. I am leaning towards…… I am learning to…… I am curious about……. I wonder if…….. (any way of saying it within a positive framework)
4. State the new turnaround and see: is THIS true? Is it MORE true than the original thought/belief?
5. How do you FEEL when you say this new thought/belief?
6. What new behavior opens up with this new thought/belief?
Here's an example (shortened version of ACT. The bulk of the work unfolds with a pen and paper or talking it through, digging into each question to see what bubbles up)
Awareness: Belief- Alcohol helps me with stress at the end of the day.
Clarity: Does it really? A quick study of the science of how alcohol affects our body chemistry reveals this is not at all true. The over release of dopamine (that initial feel good) is followed by a flood of cortisol which lingers longer, can increase anxiety, worry, sleeplessness. We are CREATING stress in our bodies that works hard to reset and rebalance (thus the hangover feeling). Then the head game of shaming: WHY DID YOU DRINK SO MUCH? and all the negative beat yourself up stories that follow THAT one! So does it HELP stress? No.
Turnaround: New thought. Alcohol really makes my stress worse. AND If alcohol doesn't help my stress, then WHAT DOES?
How do you want to FEEL about yourself? Your life? THAT is what becomes the North Star with reframing things and freeing ourselves.
With time, the shifts flow spontaneously.
The adventure of investigating our automatic thoughts/beliefs is an ongoing journey.
It's the process not perfection, right?
HOW amazing to see the ripple effects moving towards that return to our inner wisdom and authentic selves.
Imagine what might open up???
ACT is one of the pillars that is offered during coaching.
Ready to dive in?
If you are interested in learning more, reach out!
with such love,
Martha
PS: Check out this book:
Rewire, break the cycle, alter your thoughts and create lasting change by Nicole Vignola. She is a neuroscientist, and explains the dynamics in our brains when exposed to reframing our thoughts/beliefs/stories. Really good!

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